Facing Myself and the Truth

My body trembling, I slowly stepped upon the scale, fully aware that I would not like the result. Where did I loose it ? Where did I loose my self worth? How could I let myself go this far? My own reflection sickens me. The idea of another existance being remotely attracted to me is nothing but figment of my own imagination. How could they? Why would they? So I relunctantly look down at the result and my heart sinks. 244. WOW. This is not me, this has to be a dream. I'm tellin you this is the day... Everyday I will be committed to changing . The layers will shed slowly but surely and I will emerge.. The woman I once was

Goal One: Find the Skinny Person Inside Me...
I know there are people that say they r happy bein overweight and they lovethemselves. Im not one of those people.

God... grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Everyday is a constant struggle.. it is a game of tug of war.. Who will win.. when will I fall flat on my face... When I look accross whom I am tuggin against... I am looking into the eyes of a strong minded woman, a woman who refused to be taken advantage of , a woman who isnt afraid ... The irony in it all is I am lookin into my own eyes. However on this side of the war is a vulnerable woman, a woman afraid of failure , a woman who is scared, a woman who is so wrapped up into what other people think of her that she is afraid to be herself... It is a war amongst myself, a constant struggle.

An Introduction of Myself

I am a manifestation of myself. My life has conformed into what it is now today because of the decisions I have made. I chose this for myself and now I am choosing to change. There comes a point in your life where you must come to the realization that there is no one you should put before yourself besides your own children. The more time and energy you spend focusing on pleasing others peoples desires the less your own desires are fulfilled. I have spent so much of my life worrying about other people that I have lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't like who I am anymore... This is not the real me and tonight begins a new chapter in my life. I pledge from this point on to find me... Here begins my journey.